All these years of wanting
by RavenxIsxAxBlackxRose
Summary: It's been a while since we've talked like this, with your empty heart and mine full of pain.  Two kids of titans face what they've been putting off.  CamillexJake


_And it feels like we're meeting… for the first time_

_She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart, and I'm alone drinking jack in the local bar._

Camille Jane Wilson-Todd was going through it again. Another heartbreak, though this one was self-caused. How many boys had she gone through thinking she'd find someone she could love more then Jake? Her first crush, her first love, was still deep in her heart. Another boy, another piece of her heart given away, the heart that belonged to Jake. Not that he would ever take her. Daphne had said he only had girls for fun now, that he wasn't looking for any kind of commitment. When she watched her best friend say that, without knowing how much Camille liked him, wanted him, even, she always felt a huge wave of guilt. Her best friends brother, that's what he was when she was with Daphne. And she knew Jake only thought of her as his little sister's friend. Not to mention the age gap between them. But Cam was determined to make it work. Sitting on her bed, she pulled out her phone, read that last text message, deleted it, and went to sleep, wishing she was older and prettier and not so in love.

_To: Cammy_

_From: Daine_

_Cam, You know I love you, but I just don't think we can go on. Your head's somewhere else, not to mention your heart. I hope whoever you wish I was realizes how to love you back, like I do. _

_Love,_

_Daine_

Jake Parker sat at the local bar, how many times had he come here to think? Well maybe thinking was the wrong word. Maybe it was how to forget to think. He was 21, and had to be especially good now that he was to old for just juvie. So mostly, he just stayed at the bar, when he wasn't hanging out with Zach and Avery. The thing was though, Zach was so sure of what he wanted when he graduated, it made you feel like a disappointment just being with him. And Avery was at college being the sex god he wasn't around when Jake needed him. The old group had fallen apart, Lilla and Zach at college together, Zach was even talking about proposing when they graduated, and Avery and Mya sucking face anytime they were within five feet of each other, Elliot had a good job already, having inherited his dad's mechanical genius, He didn't even see Daphne anymore, though he had heard that his sister and Cammy Wilson had become quite the partyers. Cammy Wilson. Camille Wilson. Cam. Good old dependable Cam. She had liked him, when they were younger. And there was a time when they were so close, he considered dating her. But he was 18 by then, and Cammy just 15. He went off to live by himself and got a girlfriend for a while, Lian Harper, a family friend and one hot lady. Daphne had cussed him out and told him he made Cam cry. He never wanted to see her since. He had though, just last night. She was at a club, a sneak in, of course, and held a drink in one hand as she sat in Daine Anderson's lap, his arm firmly around her waist, his fingers going up and down her thigh slowly. Jake had felt something then, something that hadn't surfaced in him for ages. Jealousy. _He_ wanted to be the one touching her skin, holding her waist. She was the reason he was here, not that he needed an excuse to drink, he just had a reason to this time. But that was all the past, he didn't need Cammy. She was kinda a bitch, and had always been extremely stubborn. What he needed was a girl to love him and worship him, as petty as that sounded. He wanted to feel needed, and no 17 year old girl he had watched grow up was going to give him that.

_While I'm wide awake she's got no trouble sleeping_

Camille laid up in bed, angry that she couldn't fall asleep. She had honestly thought Daine might be the guy who made her forget. He was so sweet, so kind, so in love with her. It made her want to be in love with him too. But she wasn't. Even he could tell that. She tried, Lord knows, she tried. But she just couldn't love him. She needed someone to fight and make up with, she need heavy passion, not sweet, chaste, kisses. Sure, he treated her with respect, but maybe respect wasn't what she needed. Once it was evident that she wasn't going to be getting any sleep that night, she decided it was still early enough for her to his a club. She got through with a fake id and a smile, and made her way straight to the bar. "Give me a beer, Wally. I'll drink it straight from the bottle." The bartender nodded, and soon the drink was there. Taking a swig, Cammy felt tears on her cheeks and almost started laughing. Was she really crying? Pathetic. Two hours later, she had gone through a couple beers, and was positively smashed. She wasn't dumb enough to drive home, so she set off walking. Hoping she was going in the right direction. She couldn't tell, the world was spinning to fast for her. Tripping, she slammed onto her knees, scratching the hard pavement and promptly throwing up. Something inside her collapsed. The tears where flowing hard now, she couldn't stop them. Pulling out her cell phone, she scrolled through the list of names. There was only one person she wanted to talk to now.

"Jake? It's Cammy." And that's when she passed out.

Jake was still at the bar, he was done drinking but not ready to go home. Laying his head on the table, nestled inside his arms, he closed his eyes. And that's when his phone started to ring. Startled, he picked it up right away, answering in a groggy voice. "It's Cammy." With those two words, he was wide awake. She sounded drunk, slurring her words. "I'm coming to get you, don't worry." He assured her, though he already knew she wasn't there anymore. He guessed where she was, the club where he had found her the night before, and saw her crumpled form laying on the sidewalk. "Cammy? Cammy, it's me." He said, shaking her. God she was so beautiful. Even with the heavy eye liner and the smeared lipstick. She had always been a pretty girl. He never tried to look at her that way, for her brother's sake, but once he and Elliot had talked about it. "Little Cammy's growing up, huh?" His friend had said, there was no lust in his voice, unlike Jake's, but more like he was approving. "Yeah, she is." With dark brown hair and electric green eyes, she was striking. With her newly formed chest and just emerging curves, she was a knockout. But now, with vomit by her side and tears smearing her makeup, there was kind of a wrecked beauty about her. He took her up into his arms, "Cammy, Cammy wake up." He whispered, shaking her slightly.

_It's been a while since the two of us talked, we know things would never be the same with your heart empty and mine full of pain_

Fluttering her eyes open, and seeing Jake's face, the scar on his cheek, the way his hair was all messed up, she felt her heart stop for a second. _This is what I want, you. _She wanted to scream at him. But her throat felt raw and her eyes were puffy from crying, her knees were bleeding from the cement, her hair was knotted, and she had just thrown up. Not attractive. But she laid her head against his chest anyway. "You came." She whispered. She didn't think he would. Why would he care about poor little drunk Cam? No reason. Taking advantage of the alcohol in her veins, she pulled herself onto his lap. Something she had done before, but with Jake…if he rejected her, she was pretty sure she would die. There was so much more risk involved. Wrapping her arms around him, she leaned in to his ear and whispered, "I love you."

Jake was shocked. A thousand emotions were flying through his mind at full speed, things he hadn't felt in a while. Comfort, shock, hurt, love. He felt her slip into his lap and it took him a second to process everything. Once she was adjusted, he slipped his arms around her, pulling her close. "I love you." She said through parched lips. This statement made him numb. Love…that included commitment, caring, passion. He always knew deep in his heart that he loved her. For a brief while he was going to act on that thought, but things happened and Cammy Wilson went from being the girl of his dreams back into the little girl with the hopeless crush. He was only realizing now that he loved her. Not for her looks, but for her determination, for her sarcasm, for the way she lit up a room. For the way she was so dangerous to him. He couldn't though. He couldn't love her. He would hurt her. He would break her heart. He would make her cry. Knowing that she loved him, and he loved her, was great. But knowing that meant he would once again have to abandon her, once again he'd have to drink her out of his mind, maybe get back together with Lian, maybe he'd let Avery set him up with a girl. Avery…Cam's brother. If she told him about this, Avery would hate him. Avery would pound him for rejecting his sister. But if he was with Camille, Avery would pound him for saying he was taking advantage of her. It was a lose-lose situation with his best friend. "Let's take you home." Was all he said, he didn't trust himself to say anymore. Jake just sat up and helped her into the car, ready to drive him over to his apartment for the rest of the night.

_My hands are cold, my body's numb, I'm still in shock, what have you done? My head is pounding, my vision's blurred, your mouth is moving, I can't hear a word._

Cam was barely aware of what was happening after that point. There was only one thought going through her mind at this point. _He doesn't love me. _She felt as if she had been slapped in the face, rejection stung her skin. She had given herself to him in the most painful but chaste way. And he didn't want her. Didn't want her scrawny 17 year old body. Didn't want to have to deal with her, he was just going to drive her home and leave her. Four years of loving him had all been crushed. He was probably laughing at her, 'that little girl thought she had a chance with me? How pathetic.' She had given up so much for him, never really giving herself to any guy, never being one hundred percent into the relationship, and where had that gotten her? No where. Slumping her head against the window, she realized how tired she was. Tired and worn out. She wanted to fall into a deep sleep and distance herself from Jake. And that she did.

Arriving at his apartment, Jake finally took a look at Cammy. He saw the way her dark lashes fluttered during her deep sleep, the way her dark hair splayed out on the headrest, the way her pale skin stuck to the glass by tears. Tears he caused. Pulling the key out of the ignition, he got out of the car and picked her up, gently, as if he was afraid of hurting her. That cynical voice in the back of his mind laughed and said 'but you already did.' Ignoring himself, he held her limp, small, body and walked towards the door, struggling to key himself in and open the door. "Hey Jake! Got a hot one for tonight? You dirty boy, feel like sharing?" Todd, the boy living below him called out as he carried Cam upstairs. Something snapped inside of him, setting Camille down, he walked towards sleezy Todd. Without even thinking, he punched him in the face. "You leave her the hell alone, got it?" He warned, anger seeping into his voice. Not even looking back, he picked Cam up, she seemed to be waking up. He hoped she wasn't mad that she was at his house, he knew how Grace and Jason got about their kids, and he didn't think Cammy would want to deal with that in her state. Walking into his house, he took her straight to the bed, laying her down gently, taking off her shoes and jacket, and covering her up. He was sick with himself for thinking about how sexy she looked in her short skirt, and how easy it would be to give in to that lust growing inside of him. Turing off the light, he walked out of the room and started changing into his pajamas, ready to sleep on the couch pull out bed.

_I may not have the softest touch, I may not say the words as such, and though I may not look like much, I'm yours._

Cam woke up, warm and tucked nicely in the bed. But wait…this wasn't her bed. About to freak out, she recognized the picture on the bedside. It was in a silver frame, of Avery, Zach, Elliot and Jake in blue robes holding diplomas. Mya stood next to Avery, kissing him full on the mouth while he pumped a fist in the air, and there was Lilla holding hands sweetly with Zach, and there was Elliot and Michaela, and there she was. Four years younger and looking at Jake with adoration with her arm around Daphne as the two laugh. She was in Jake's bedroom. She was in Jake's bed. But where was Jake? Standing up and getting out of bed, she could already feel a hangover coming on, it was gonna be a shitty morning when she woke up. Falling as soon as she stood up. "Goddamnit!" She yelled, ready to burst into tears. "Are you ok?" A shirtless Jake asked. _God he's so beautiful. _She thought, taking him in. Then she remembered her rejection and turned around, her back facing him. "Yeah, I'm just super." She said, her voice laced with thick sarcasm. "Look I'm sorry…Cammy I'm so sorry. Just….you have to understand." _Yeah, understand that your just a little kid Cammy, I can't love someone like you Cammy, I'm in love with Lian, Cammy. He probably has a million excuses. _Sure she was being bitchy, but he deserved it. _No he doesn't._ Another part of her mind urged. Whatever. She didn't care.

"Just help me up, then leave me alone." She didn't answer what he said, she didn't want to admit defeat.

Jake bit his lip. He didn't want to leave her, not at all. He could tell she needed _someone _and he was all she had. Walking over to help her up, he grabbed her hands and lifted her off her feet, holding her again in his arms. "Let me go! Put me down!" She screeched, fists hitting him. He set her on the bed. "Cammy. Camille. Cam. Mask. Whatever you want me to call you. Just sit. Sit there and listen to me. I love you. I guess I've always loved you. It's just…Loving you is so wrong. It's like, the worst possible thing that could happen to both of us." Her mouth dropped open, and he put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "I'm 21, your not even 18 yet. Do you think that will look good to others? And then there's your family, Zach and Avery-" She cut him off. "But Zach and Avery are going to grow up, and their going to be _happy. _With tons of little Avery's and Zach's and Lilla's and Mya's. They don't want me to be alone forever." Jake sighed, "But, Cammy, they wouldn't want you with me. That want you with a guy who is sweet and respectful, someone who can take care of you." This conversation was going to end up very ugly very fast. "But…but Jake. I don't _want _a guy that's all sweet. I've tried. That's why all of my relationships have failed, because I'm to in love with _you _to be with them! That's why Daine broke up with me! Because he could tell I loved someone else. I want to be with you." Her last words were pleading, and Jake could hear the longing in her voice as she placed her hands on his chest. "Let me be with you." She nuzzled in closer. She didn't want Daine? She didn't want some sweet sensible guy? She wanted him. The thought of waking up with her by his side put a smile on his face. A smile that hadn't been there in a while. Looking her in the eyes, those electric, bright eyes, the rims red from tears, he placed his hands on the side of her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I…I want to be with you too. Camille Jane Wilson-Todd-Xaiver. I want to be with you as long as you'll let me." His confession startled him, but only because of how right it sounded finally coming out of his mouth. That secret he had been holding since he was 18, sometimes forgotten, sometimes so strong he would drink to forget it. To forget her. But he didn't have to anymore. He could admit to the world that he was hers, and she was his. Pulling her face up to his, he pressed his lips against hers. A slow, lingering kiss. As if he was trying to memorize what he had been denied since he realized he wanted it. He wanted to memorize what Cammy tasted like, what being with her, finally, would be like. But that wasn't enough, he had pulled away only to come back, stronger now. She had wrapped her legs around his waist and her hands touched his bare skin, setting off fireworks in his mind wherever she touched. He leaned back on the bed, Cam now sitting on top of her, her kisses fierce. His mind was a blank, putting all of his focus to the girl in front of him. He felt her hands rubbing his arms up and down, and he moved them towards her hips, it felt so good to finally get this close with her. "Cammy? I hate to say this but we're going to have to stop, I don't think we should go that far." He whispered. He wanted her, he wanted her so much now. She pulled away for him looking in his eyes. "Who says?" With that he pulled her towards him, smiling.

_You healed these scars over time, and braced my soul, and loved my mind. _

_You are the only angel in my life._

Author's note: Camille Wilson-Todd is the daughter of my OC and Red X, and Jake is the daughter of Sci-fi's OC's Delphi and Press

The lyrics are from different songs by the Script.

There will be more soon with the other kids of titans and actual super-hero-ness


End file.
